Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Charlies Angles

Charlie's Angels and the case of the missing ring.

What can I say I was nervous but trying to hide it behind a stern face and lack of joking when my partner picked on me about my new headgear (a blue surgical hairnet). It was the day of my surgery and I was dreading it. I had just changed into hospital garb and returned to the pre-op surgical room.
The nurse asked if he could remove my sacred wedding ring from my finger, “I will lock it up with your other belongings” she said. I told her that he could take it off and it would be safer with my partner “whom gave him the ring”. I slipped the ring off and handed it to David saying take care of this.

I shift uncomfortably in the ultra sheer hospital gown with my large ass poking out touching the cloth on the holding room table. After what seemed like an eternity a nice masculine women open the drapes and stated she was the DR who would be administering my anesthesia. She explained the procedure and told me that she needed to begin my IV so she could knock me out. After trying in one hand she was unable to begin the IV no matter how much she dug with the needle. She stated well I guess the vein collapsed. She quickly moved to the other hand. She was able to start the IV without to much digging around for the vein. All the while I was chastising her for her affinity for the Chicago Bears, trying to sway her to the light, to the COWBOYS. She told me she and her “husband” are devout sox and bears fan, I am trying to wrap my mind around her being married to a guy…oh well.

When she was done the DR came in and explained the procedure to me stating, I am going to give you a prescription for pain, everyone is different you may experience a lot of pain or none at all, it could last for weeks or days. I secretly hated him at this point and vowed that I would be the lucky one who would experience no pain and if I did it wouldn’t last long. They left stating they would be back as soon as there is an operating room.

More anxiety more picking on me from David. Then the curtain opened and it was the DR, the masculine female DR and another guy. They said it was time. I told David I loved him and off we went. Wheeling me down to corridor, the Masculine DR was on my left side, she patted my arm and told me “goodnight” I saw her inject something into my IV port and before she had finished putting the meds in or I had finished the word goodn….I was gone.

I don’t remember dreaming, I don’t remember any out of body experience and there was no light where I was, looking back those facts are kind of scary to me. Anyway I after what seemed like a minute I woke up with a lady above me checking my IV. She Looked like Kate Jackson so I asked her if she was my angel. She laughed and I told her she looked like Kate and she was my favorite angel “I lied” obviously I am a Jaclyn Smith fan DUH! She smiled and walked away. I looked around and found myself in a circular room with a nurse’s station in the middle. There was my DR, “the devil” looking at me. I tried to mutter to words how did everything go? He didn’t respond to me only looked at me and turned his head down to work on paperwork in front of him…bitch! Then there was a male nurse beside me, He looked familiar maybe we had met at the bars or something when David and I were out. I tried to make small talk but he laughed when I told him I would buy him a drink if I saw him out, He stated “hunny you won’t remember me” Well damn him to and If I see him I will not buy him a drink! I asked when I could go home and he told me they were going to take me to post op and let me have something to drink “COFFEE” I missed my coffee!

After a few minuets they rolled my bed to a brightly lit room where everyone seemed very nice. They helped me into a reclining chair and asked me how I was feeling. I told him get David in the waiting room and GET ME COFFEE! The male nurse told me he would be glad to do both…I loved him! He promptly brought me a cup of coffee and a muffin.

David came in smiling and asking me how I was. I was on my second cup of coffee by then and was feeling weird but ok. The nurse told me I couldn’t leave until I peed. I got up right when they said that and stated I need to pee! The nurse escorted me to the john and I stood there and took care of business. I returned to my chair and another nurse came over with my prescriptions and release forms. She gave my walking papers and the wheelchair was summoned. David escorted me to my locker and helped me get dressed. They told David how to get our ticket validated and to bring the car around. They wheeled me down David pulled the car around and helped me in.

At this point I was scared not knowing if David could remember the way home. I tried to help him navigate however he didn’t need my help he did it all on his own. We stopped at the CVS to get my prescriptions. I remember feeling like I needed to shop. He asked me what I was hungry for and I told him I wanted corndogs! I have no idea why corndogs however in my mind that is what I had to have. He took me home and couldn’t find a parking space near our house so dropped me off in from of our door and went to park the car. The door was ajar so I opened it and stumbled up our spiral staircase to home. David came up and let me in. He situated me on the sofa then went across the street for my corndogs. Next thing I know there were corndogs in front of me. I woofed them down rolled over and slept.

Later that night I woke up, I asked David for a cigarette and my wedding ring. David went to his jeans and low and behold NO RING. He has looked everywhere and hasn’t been able to find it. I have teased him about it and made him feel guilty, but I when I saw it is really bothering him so I stopped.

Fast forward through all the pain and issues, it has been 4 days since my surgery I am still in some pain. The meds help however I am trying not to take them if not absolutely necessary. I need to work and get some things done. In the past few days I have received 150 e-mails requesting my approval on something or the other. I am trying not to respond after taking any meds though.

This past week David has been crucial to my recovery. He has taken care of the house, the animals and has waited on my hand and foot. I loved him before and I love him more now. After going through this with a loved one it makes you happy to have found your life partner.

As for the Ring.... on Monday we will search the car again and call the hospital however if my ring is not found that is ok, David is all I need. I guess you can say he is my Angel.

Monday, September 1, 2008